Coming Soon– The Client List!!!

April 3, 2012 § Leave a comment

There’s a new show coming to Lifetime this Sunday at 10pm.  It’s called “The Client List.” starring Jennifer Love Hewitt.  It’s about a “small town girl”/single mom named Riley Parks (Hey!  Why not call her Ivana Doya?) balancing her family life (two small kids!  overbearing mother!) with her work life as a massage therapist in a “legit day spa” (seemingly called “The Rub at Sugarland.”  SERIOUSLY???)  that *gasp* offers special favors to “special clients.”  Two lives… one woman… many secrets. Can she keep them separate?  Will her family find out?  Will her clients say things that even begin to match the things I hear?????

I. Am. Fascinated!

I’ve known about this show for a while because frankly the professional massage therapist community has been in an uproar!  How this is going to reflect badly on the profession that people have spent years trying to convince others is, indeed, simply a profession and not “the oldest profession.”  How this is going to lead to an increase in clients asking for “special favors”, “happy endings”, and just straight up sex.  How this is going to set the massage therapy world back 100 years.  How this will ruin us all.

I don’t disagree with these points, however my ridiculously curious mind mixed with my dirtier-than-many-men’s mind really wants to see how this thing plays out.  What can I say.  I’m human.

First, I LOVE that this show is on the Lifetime Network.  The self-proclaimed “… source for women’s entertainment including games, movies, shows, full episodes, style, astrology, sweepstakes and more.”  Because when I think of a show about a sexy massage therapist giving hand jobs, shown in the print ads wearing lingerie (??), I think THIS is a show for women!  And with lines like “Women are complicated” and “I seem to have some tension in my upper thigh” I again think “Oh yes.  Definitely a show aimed at women”.  Of course, at it’s heart it seems to be a show about a woman trying to survive and finding balance in her life.  Not, perhaps, in the way I do it… but all the same.  What woman can’t relate to that?  At least, that’s what I get as the “selling points” from the ads and what I’ve heard.

Second, I am salivating thinking about how many cliche lines they will fill this series with.  It’s kind of like taking my life and putting it on screen. Except I don’t have writers.  Do you think the writers for the show got to do “research”????

And it doesn’t help that JLH keeps tossing out little cuteisms like “Should I say “coming soon?” (pun intended)” and “Hot girls in lingerie is always a good start” and “The men always leave happy… *giggle*… pun intended!”  Also that she’s walking around in all kinds of lingerie and giving her boobs more screen time than her hands.  (For the record, professional massage therapists use their HANDS to massage and NOT their breasts. You may be confused by this when watching the ads.)

I must confess… I am mildly ashamed by my fascination.  Because professional massage therapists, both men and women (if you remember my post about Matt) have to deal with a lot of nonsense.   Clients will test your boundaries and see how far they can push you and what they can get. Granted, I have a much higher bullshit threshold than many people.  But still… I don’t need my clients groping and asking for any more favors.  Because I am NOT part of the oldest profession.  That stuff doesn’t happen on my table. I am, in fact, a professional massage therapist and love my job.  And “The Client List” probably isn’t going to do my profession many PR favors.  Although it has been getting the massage world a whole lot of attention.

Fact is, if I was offering bonuses… or hell, even massage dressed like she is… my tips would be rolling in too.  But that’s not my job.

Yet I can’t help it.  I am fascinated by this show.

It’s like watching a train wreck.

And in a few days, I can come back and write about it again!

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